On Writer's Block
One would think given I've gotten through four different NaNoWriMo events I'd have mastered Das Block. Sadly this isn't the case and I'm putting forward a few potential reasons why I might still be troubled.
Stress: I currently live with family and help with their added expenses by helping with animal and home care. Given I can reasonably expect food and aid one would guess I don't have anything to stress over. Partially true. After all once basic survival needs are met one would expect stress level to drop.
Probable counter there exists in the situation itself. I'm in my twenties and live with family who, nice as they are, don't share my interests. This isn't their fault, or mine, or anyone else's. I'm simply a shut-in with nobody to talk face-to-face to on those oddball things that crop up 'Is Deckard a replicant?', 'Pirates or Ninjas?', 'The best strategies to surviving a global zombie infestation?' These sorts of things. It isn't that they don't understand (OK fine they probably don't get why my mind latches onto these subjects as opposed to more normal things, but irrelevant as they generally keep the mutterings to a dull roar.) Whine whine yes I know. I have chances to get face time with other local oddballs. It's just a matter of the people I see on a day to day basis giving me the hairy eyeball that gets wearing.
Plus now I have an audience. Granted it's a small one, but still. People drop by here. People read this stuff. My family is notified (via hootsuite) on faebook whenever blog updates so they get the opportunity to read this.
After spending most of my life curled in an itty bitty ball whenever my likes are brought up to try avoiding ridicule opening up is a hard thing. I still have trouble getting in a conversation with them, so fear/stress over reactions... and especially the lack of reaction from the rest of my audience. What do I do to bring them in? Can I keep this up? What if I make someone angry? What if I hand my family a new toy to poke at me with? Why can't I grow a thicker skin?
Remember kids. Just because your family thinks you're weird doesn't mean they love you any less. I've been telling myself that one for years in hopes it'll sink in.
Poor Time Management Skills. I has them. Everyone around me knows I have bad time management. I'm not the only one in my family with this problem. Hard really to get things done when you think you have oodles of time, then blink and deadline's ten minutes away. I've been trying, believe it or not, to fix that.
Too Many Ideas; Not Enough Attention. Writer's block, for me anyway, isn't about having no ideas to work with. Quite the reverse really. I have ideas a'plenty. I just can't sort through them. Strange really. Once I can concentrate I"m more or less fine, but until then it feels like I've got everything chitering away for my attention. Might be why I like books so much. Could also, in a less direct way, be why I like the internet so much. With books I can get lost in the story. With the internet there's so many blinky wizzing wirring things that if I get bored *click* new page.
Thankfully with the laptop google gave me well in hand and even a way to work offline with scratchpad I have something I can use even when the family box is occupied. So that longstanding issue is dead. I just have to cut through the rest and get back to work.
Edging close here to the long list of things I'd never do with this blog. After all I'm the only one keeping me away from being ranty, and nobody likes a screamy hooty ragey internet person no do they?
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